The Awful Tale of Agatha Bilke

Both Short Books and Siân Pattenden are new to children’s fiction; and their first novel for children does have a quirky fresh voice.

The eponymous Agatha Bilke, introduced in the first chapter by a knowing world-weary narrator, sets fire to things. The following chapters introduce us to more problem children: Paul, who is afraid of toast; Brenda who always shouts; Miriam, who wears a corrugated iron hat to protect her from falling objects; and, my own favourite, Barry, who always refers to himself in the third person. They all seek a cure at the TreadQuietly Clinic for Interesting Children, run by Drs Tim and Alan Humphrey.

This idea has promise. The narrative, with occasional asides, crossings-out, wanderings off the subject, and self censuring, has comic scope. Pattenden’s cartoon illustrations have an off-the-wall appeal. But it doesn’t quite come off. Not enough happens at the clinic, where the interaction of the characters is much less funny or interesting than it might have been. Some of the jokes, particularly those that appear to be satirising therapeutic practice or poking fun at political correctness, seem unsure both of the point they’re making or for whom they are meant.