Happily Never After: Modern Cautionary Verse

Mitchell Symons is happy to give Hilaire Belloc the credit for originating this verse form. His interest is in updating it by creating new verses based on the behaviour of children in the modern world. So there is ‘Tiffany: who couldn’t put down her mobile telephone and died a horrible death’; and ‘Cally: whose overuse of the word “like” led to something she really didn’t like.’ Other modern foibles that receive a Symons warning include Facebook and TV talent shows. However, most of the reprehensible behaviour treated here – boasting, bullying, farting, snobbishness, disobedience and nail biting – although they have modern aspects, could just as well have been subjects for Belloc’s pen. Symons’ verse doesn’t measure up to Belloc’s. The metre frequently falters and stumbles and there’s little finesse or subtlety, but the themes are generally well worked out and there are some chuckles before the children meet their dreadful fates.