I Can’t Believe I don’t Have a Boyfriend

This follow up to The Romantic Tragedies of a Drama King is every bit as hilarious and joyous as the first book but with even more drama and misconceptions at every turn.

Patch is eagerly awaiting the return of his would-be boyfriend, Sam who has spent the Christmas holidays in New York with his best friend Peter’s family.  He is hoping that Sam will announce his feelings for Patch at a New Year’s Eve party he is attending with his friends Jean and Tessa.  Of course, things do not quite work out as Patch has envisaged but they do share a kiss.   Does this mean Patch now has a boyfriend?   It is not clear, but when Patch invites Sam out on a date, everything goes pear-shaped as Patch misreads all the cues and takes Sam to three very public events when all Sam wanted was to talk to Patch, without any onlookers!  Patch is appalled he had got it so wrong – has he lost Sam already? Does Peter perhaps still have feelings for Patch or is it vice-versa?

Meanwhile, everyone else is having relationship wobbles too.  There is a new man in Patches’ Mum’s life, nick-named Honey Paul.   Patch tries to derail a family dinner by trying to prove that Honey Paul is homophobic like all his mum’s previous boyfriends.    Jean is becoming very evasive about Callum, the class bad boy and Tessa has a date with Flora.  Plus Sam is convinced his favourite English teacher fancies the new history teacher.  What can possibly go wrong?

The permutations for toe-curling and embarrassing incidents are endless, made all the more hilarious by the lists that Patch writes down on how he thinks every situation will pan out as opposed to what actually happens in reality.

The adolescent awkwardness and loud declarations with no filter ia spot on, as is their sweetness and vulnerability.  This time there is more feeling and emotion with some more difficult undercurrents involving mental health, coming out, and finding oneself.  Patch is still totally self-obsessed but his growing awareness that he is not the only pebble on the beach and his loyalty and kindness to his friends is lovely to see.  A life affirming and thoroughly enjoyable read.