I Can't Even Think Straight

With his trademark authenticity and warmth, this is another coming of age queer romance verse novel from the Stonewall Award-winning Dean Atta. The central character Kai shares the same ethnicity as the author and loving Greek Cypriot and Jamaican families and friends are delightfully portrayed and are what gives Kai the strength  and inner confidence to negotiate some tricky relationship situations. After a long hot summer in Cyprus, where he enviously watched his non-binary childhood friend Vass, so unapologetically happy in themselves and seemingly having a successful romance with a local heart throb, that he feels the time is right to come out at school. He is ready for romance, but not sure where to find it and has no confidence in his instincts or ability to identify potential boyfriends. His best friend Matt has a completely different background, with deeply religious and homophobic parents and is terrified of being identified as queer through his friendship with Kai. And yet it is only with Kai that Matt can truly be himself.   Kai suspects his feelings for Matt go far beyond friendship, but cannot risk losing him. Atta skilfully builds the background of home, school and family life which eventually combine to compel Kai to come out and sadly force Matt to publicly deny his sexuality. What is so refreshing is the non- stereotypical way the influential group of Black youths, The Boys, support and protect both of them. This is only one example of the subtle way in which Atta confronts important issues such as discrimination against Black teenagers, racial profiling by teachers or the police, and homophobia. Matt has his own internal prejudice to overcome and Kai has important lessons to learn about the importance of consent, when Kass reveals the truth about his holiday romance. The eventual resolution of Kai’s relationship with Matt gives the reader the happy ending that everyone will be rooting for and that these authentic and relatable characters deserve. There also a lovely intertextual moment when Atta weaves in a mention of his award-winning debut The Black Flamingo, which I am sure fans will enjoy!