The Spick and the Span

The publishers hail this book as perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, and it’s clear why they make that claim: the main characters are Ward, a dwarf; Magda, an ogre; and Jago, a magician who has been turned into a talking frog. Add Jezebel, a benevolent vampire, and the ghostly owner and founder, Alfreda, and we have an interesting mix of people who are the firm Spick and Span. In Helm, magicians had been profligate in their use of magic, using it for trivial reasons like tying their shoelaces and scratching their noses. Consequently, there was too much magic in the air, and magic would do strange things like making a tap only produce cough syrup, and too many portals to other lands had materialised and disappeared, leaving some unfortunate people stranded. The cleaners are therefore very important, hoovering up excess magic (like the Ghostbusters?) and, as young people are only magic-resistant until the age of 17, the cleaners are all children. Ward, the dwarf, had been inventing anti-magic potions since he was 4 years old, and was rejected by his dwarf family as an unsuitable dwarf, Magda is constantly looking for the right portal to get home, Jago needs to be released from his frog form, and their colleague, the elf Nessus, needs to be rescued from the void.

There are a few gender-neutral characters e.g. the magician Mx Hazan, and their rival Billie-Billy, who is both, and there are same-sex relationships. It all gets quite complicated, and a lot happens before all is resolved, but along with the excitement and the jeopardy, there is wit and humour, (not only in the footnotes), and this will be an enjoyable read, even if it’s not quite Discworld…